The cat goes flying down the hallway.   I have no idea what exactly spooked him.  However, we can’t help but laugh as he looses his footing and the back end of him slides towards his face.

Humor is a great distraction from cutting.  It’s difficult to be laughing and continue to feel that deep seeded hatred for myself that comes flying to the surface in the face of rejection or shame. 

That’s why laughter is at the top of my list as I make a safety plan that keeps me on the road to healing ran than self destruction.  

Here is a safety plan focused on humor:

  1. Play with your animal.  Maybe put socks img_0746on  his feet and watch him freak out.
  2. Watch funny animal video’s on you-tube.
  3. Watch Chonda Peirce.  She is a Christian Comedian.  She also comes from a background of depression.
  4. Tickle a kid.
  5. Dump ice on your spouse in the shower.
  6. Put toothpaste on your family members’ face. Wait for them to wake up and smear it.
  7. Paint your husbands nails pink while he is sleeping.  Hide the nail polish remover.
  8. Play “Jaws” on any instrument.
  9. Splash in a pool.
  10. Watch video’s of your kids when they were little.

Fighting Back

Dear Anxiety,

You used to rule my life.  But that’s not my story anymore.  Yes, you are stalking me around every corner.  You are ready to pounce at my every weakness.  However, I stand firm in the promises of Christ.  He has already won my battle.  I am victorious.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments of weakness.  When it gets tough, I rely on the tools God gave me.  I rely on my counselor, my husband, my sponsor, and my family from Celebrate Recovery.

I am constantly rewriting those thoughts and feelings that cloud my better judgment.  In fact, I’d like to share how I rewrite those thought that have run awry.  The words in bold are the words that can be repeated as a sort of formula retrain your brain.

Here is example

I feel rejected however the facts and evidence are that he has shown me me in many ways that he loves me – flowers, making dinner, standing by me when most people would have let the relationsip.  I feel this way because I have either been rejected or perceived rejection from a very young age.

His Only Song

Ever since Zaiah was an infant, he has loved for me to sing Jesus Loves Me as he goes to sleep.  Now four years old, he wants me to stroke his face and rub his head while he listens and snuggles under his covers with his beloved blankie.

Just one problem.  It’s his ONLY song.

The other kids in the car may be singing with the radio.  But over everyone, Zaiah is belting out Jesus Loves Me.  It makes Abby and Eli so mad.

And then there was the hospital incident.  We took cookies to the nurses at the hospital, and while we were there, we sang Christmas Carols.  Not Zaiah.  He sang Jesus Loves Me the whole time.

And give that boy a guitar.  He holds it backwards, strums real fast, and sings – actually yells – Jesus Loves Me.

Cute.  And sweet.  And so right.

God’s love changes everything.  Forever.

His love brings me hope.   It brings me purpose.  It gives me life:  abundant, joyful, and everlasting life.

So sing, Zaiah. Sing.

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

Psalm 63:3 NIV