The cat goes flying down the hallway.   I have no idea what exactly spooked him.  However, we can’t help but laugh as he looses his footing and the back end of him slides towards his face.

Humor is a great distraction from cutting.  It’s difficult to be laughing and continue to feel that deep seeded hatred for myself that comes flying to the surface in the face of rejection or shame. 

That’s why laughter is at the top of my list as I make a safety plan that keeps me on the road to healing ran than self destruction.  

Here is a safety plan focused on humor:

  1. Play with your animal.  Maybe put socks img_0746on  his feet and watch him freak out.
  2. Watch funny animal video’s on you-tube.
  3. Watch Chonda Peirce.  She is a Christian Comedian.  She also comes from a background of depression.
  4. Tickle a kid.
  5. Dump ice on your spouse in the shower.
  6. Put toothpaste on your family members’ face. Wait for them to wake up and smear it.
  7. Paint your husbands nails pink while he is sleeping.  Hide the nail polish remover.
  8. Play “Jaws” on any instrument.
  9. Splash in a pool.
  10. Watch video’s of your kids when they were little.

Fighting Back

Dear Anxiety,

You used to rule my life.  But that’s not my story anymore.  Yes, you are stalking me around every corner.  You are ready to pounce at my every weakness.  However, I stand firm in the promises of Christ.  He has already won my battle.  I am victorious.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments of weakness.  When it gets tough, I rely on the tools God gave me.  I rely on my counselor, my husband, my sponsor, and my family from Celebrate Recovery.

I am constantly rewriting those thoughts and feelings that cloud my better judgment.  In fact, I’d like to share how I rewrite those thought that have run awry.  The words in bold are the words that can be repeated as a sort of formula retrain your brain.

Here is example

I feel rejected however the facts and evidence are that he has shown me me in many ways that he loves me – flowers, making dinner, standing by me when most people would have let the relationsip.  I feel this way because I have either been rejected or perceived rejection from a very young age.

Peanutbutter Between Your Toes

It is entirely possible to be three years old and find peanutbutter between your toes.    Or purple fingernail polish on your face.  

Life gets messy.  

Not just kid messy.   I mean true, sin stained, emotionally starved, painful messy. 

The kind of messy you can’t see.   

The kind I hold deep in my heart.   The kind that comes spilling out when I least expect.   

It comes out in my impatient voice.   In my explosive tears.   My stone wall of silence.   

For me, it comes spilling out physically, too.   Triggered by stress,  my CVS episodes often attack when God’s peace is replaced by my own anxiety. 

Physically, I needed the right medicine. 

And I needed the right balance of stress in my life.   (Even “good” stressors are hard on me.)

But just as I alone could not heal my own body,  I can’t heal my own heart.  

But, I know the Great Physician.  

           And He can heal my heart.  

                              He alone puts His perfect peace in my heart.   

          He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 137:3